I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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