if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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