Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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