well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Every concussion has its silver lining
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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