No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Farmville is her only friend.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
