She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize