bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
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