You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
