We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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