I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
