You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
