Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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