Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
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i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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