He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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