my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
