I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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