It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize