We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
