we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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