The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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