remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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