did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
