when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
