You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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