my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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