You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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