Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
