I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
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having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
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somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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