hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
