Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
