And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
