Do you still have your period?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
