im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
her facebook's as public as her vagina
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
