No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
