Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
