she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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