I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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