I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
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The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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