I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
