roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
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Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
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My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize