a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
