it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
