my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize