Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
