it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
