My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Everything about him screamed your future.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize