i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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