Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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