I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Randomize
