But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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