And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Randomize
