Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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