i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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