So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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