Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
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We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
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And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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