Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Sponge bath it is.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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