chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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