i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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