that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
