im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
