how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
