just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize