Will you blow on my dice?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
