Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
