I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
