Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
