i just google imaged poop.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
