Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
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I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
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I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize