There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
