you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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