My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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