the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
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