I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
