We need to rekindle our bromance
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
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I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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