There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
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Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
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How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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